The Road Not Taken: A Contemplation

Contemplation is one thing, my pride is another, to paraphrase. We can look back on our own lives, and see all the ways in which it splices, how every decision begets another decision, until you are where you are. I can tell you how I got here, but I’ve found myself daydreaming the “what if” as of late.

But does the contemplation do anything for me? Does torturing myself by looking back and second guessing every decision I’ve ever made, from the clothes I’ve chosen to wear to the major life decisions, does any of this get me anywhere?

I’ve found myself, unfortunately, contemplating the past in an effort to move forward, and it isn’t working. Part of the reason is that I recently revisiting a youthful stomping ground, and it left a stark impression on me. The choices I made were valuable, self preservative even. I made the choices I did for good reason.

Wait, why did I make those choices?

• Career stability: I got out of a career where I was having to find a new job every three to six months.
• Value added: I wanted to do something that provided value to the world around me.
• Love: You do things because you love the work.

But then I look at the road I didn’t take, and question whether taking it would have been just as valuable. The truth is, the opportunity didn’t present itself at the right time in the right way for it to play out in a way that would have worked.

The truth is that it’s easy to imagine a life you aren’t living. It’s easy to romantisize the things you aren’t doing. Theres a romantic notion that your life would be different if you made different decisions, but you’d still be the same person who doesn’t make the effort in the things that theoretically matter.

Maybe taking or not taking the road is a microcosm every day. What do you choose to do? Do your choices make you happy? And if they don’t, what do you do to change things once you’ve set the course you’re on?

That’s all for this week.

-M

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