Writing. Productivity. Passion. Purpose.
Contemplation is one thing, my pride is another, to paraphrase. We can look back on our own lives, and see all the ways in which it splices, how every decision begets another decision, until you are where you are. I can tell you how I got here, but I’ve found myself daydreaming the “what if” as of late.
Continue reading “The Road Not Taken: A Contemplation”
I lost my phone today. An inconvenience, of course. Phones are an expensive little tether to the world, to the social internet, to the people in your life. I run my work off my phone, and I spend more time staring at that little rectangle than anything else. I wouldn’t consider myself to have a level of phone addiction, but the level of tether to it is unmistakeable. But phones can represent so many things, and this represented loss.
Continue reading “Loss: The Physical and the Memories”
The last two weeks have been a challenge. My days have been busy, and I’ve just barely been able to do the deadline based things that I need to accomplish. So here is what I’m working on to try to manage my goals.
Hello! It’s been a while. I’m sorry. I’ve had a busy year and transitioned careers, but this year should be much less chaotic. I mean, I’m staring grad school, so who knows how far this will go, but my goal…well, let’s get in to my 20 goals for 2020.
I’ve had this weird shift recently that has required an adjustment of attitude. I’m used to thinking of myself as being at the bottom of the hierarchy, as someone who doesn’t give instruction, but receives instruction.
As some of you know, I used to vlog about books on a youtube channel. It was 2014, and I was energized by a new years resolution to vlog twice a week. So I started filming on my computers webcam and editing in Windows Movie Maker. Flash forward two months, and my hard drive is fried and I’m left with a warning that my computer wasn’t able to process that kind of work, and that I needed a more powerful computer to achieve my dreams of YouTube stardom.
I’ve talked before about how trying to be the best version of myself was burning me out, and this is still accurate. Having an overwhelming list of things to do everyday to be the “best” is a great way to become disenchanted with self improvement. But birthdays can be a great way to start anew.
It’s my birthday, so let’s look back on some of the things I learned when I was 24.
I haven’t been writing.
I haven’t been reading.
I haven’t been…doing anything, really.
Over the last two months, I have been trying to keep up with my New Years Resolutions while juggling jobs, friendships, my relationship and my life. I have spent the last two years reading self help memoirs about women working towards the best version of themselves. And after two months, I am ready to throw in the towel.
Continue reading “The Quest to be the Best Version of Myself is Burning Me Out”